Beneath My Facade
by GakupoKamui553
Summary: Light Yagami loved Misa deep down. On the outside 'Kira', he was manipulative and abusive, but on the inside 'Light Yagami' didnt like, no, hated, what he was doing. Warning: Contains stupidly angsty masochism/self hurt/desire to be hurt, 'I dont deserve anything'-esque quotes, and later on lemons. Light X Misa, Raito X Misa call it what you wanna call it. Enjoy! Review as well!
1. Schizophrenic Masochism

Beneath My Facade

Chapter 1: Schizophrenic Masochism

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Ok, what the hell was I thinking when I wrote this? I look back and I think, damn, Ive degraded poor Light too much in this. Nevermind, he deserved it for being such a dick in the series. Then again, I like to think of myself being very similar to Light. Maybe I have subconscious desires to hurt myself, who knows, you learn something new every day I guess...plus this place needs more angsty LightxMisa fanfiction, period. Either way, this was inspired by two other fanfictions, Beautiful Sin and True Affection and me hating myself for random reasons (?)

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It is long since Light had beaten Near at his own game, just barely. After killing him off, and eliminating the remaining SPK members, Light finally achieved the goal he strived to accomplish for years now. He had become the God Of The New World. However, one thing stayed in his mind, Misa was still there. He had to have someone with the Shinigami eyes there to rule with him so that he didnt have to make the deal himself and lower his lifespan. Kiyomi Takada was killed by Mikami under his orders so she couldnt help, and as for Mikami, he sacrificed himself to give Light time to write the names of the agents in his Death Note. Misa was the only set of eyes he had left, without her, he wasnt the almighty god he was now.

Light sat in his chair and fought with himself over his feelings for Misa. 'Kira' hated her.

"Light, what are you doing?" 'Kira' says "Do you really think that a ditzy blonde like her is worthy of ruling the new world with you? Kill her off, you'll do just fine without her!"

However, deep down, 'Light Yagami' loves Misa. He doesnt want to admit it though, love is for the weak. Everyone is his tool, no one is worthy of being his significant other since he is so great, no one...right? Beneath a facade of unwillingness to succumb to a relationship, a facade that even L failed to see through, carrying the idea that Light hated Misa to the grave with him, the human inside Light wanted...needed someone to be his other half.

These emotions were kept completely suppressed for years, what if she took him for granted and eventually left him? He had to make sure that she knew he was in charge. Every time he shouted at her, every time he hit her, it hurt him more than it hurt her. And what hurt him even more was that she'd wake up the next day and forgive him as if nothing happened. She'd put more makeup on to cover the scars he'd caused and she'd still smile at him and kiss him every day. Once, he hit her so hard she fell down to the ground, he just turned away, hoping she could say something like "Fuck you Light" and storm off, but instead she just whimpered "But Light...I...I love you". Later that day Light locked himself in his room and said he was dealing with business when instead he just payed himself back with his own medicine. He sat there and took the pain, knowing it was what he deserved for his sins. In the end, Light hated himself, he was the same thing he wanted to rid the world of...evil.

He didnt know who to listen to, 'Light Yagami' the human who was inside him, the one who could love, who fought for a better world and who was the reason the whole thing ever started, or 'Kira' the manipulative, egomaniacal, god-complexed identity that he gave to himself in order to become suitable for leading the new world.

Light sits in his chair and thinks, the last problem that eats away at him. And who would have known that after dealing with L, Mello and Near, his biggest challenge was what he would do with Misa. He couldn't go on using her like this, it was too much, after all these years. He would either tell her to go away, or find a way to let go of 'Kira's pride'. Suddenly the door unlocked and Light sat up straight and waited for whoever was on the other side. as expected, it was Misa. There smiling, at him, for him, but not with him. As usual, a frown marked Light's lips. He could tell by both her body language and the way she looked at him that she had probably carried out his orders wrongly again. Light clenched his fist "Not again...I dont want to hit you again" he thought

"Raito-kun..." Misa sighs "I...I made a small mistake..."

"AGAIN?!" Light shouts, getting up from the chair, Misa's eyes widen in fear. "Stop, Light Yagami, what are you doing?" he kept telling himself

"It was so unpredictable I had no idea, RAITO-KUN, PLEASE NOT AGAIN!" She shouted as Light lifted his hand up and she covered her face with hers.

Light looked down onto her, his hand still raised, his eyes filled with hatred. His emotional world broke down inside of him, everything he had kept suppressed all those years now rang around in his head, he felt his sanity slowly leaving him. It was time for the God to pass down judgment onto...himself. Light removes the mask he wore all this time and lets his suppressed emotions overflow. He suddenly realizes what he deserves. Misa allowed herself a peek from between her fingers to see what Light was doing. She saw him, now with his hand raised down, but his face was still angry.

"Raito-kun I promise I'll do better next time just give me another chance" Misa pleaded but her eyes doubled in size when Light collapsed to his knees in front of her.

"Ra...Raito-kun?" she asked, not knowing if he was ok, she had never seen him act this way "Are you alright?"

"Misa..." Light sighed "Do me...a favor"

"Oh...Anything to make up for what I did before! What is it Raito-kun? I umm...I can go out an-" Misa began but Light's answer shocked her even more

"Hurt me, Misa" Light replied, a broken look filled his gaze

"Raito-kun?" she asked, worringly

"Do it, make me suffer like I did to you" Light said

"I...why, Raito-kun? I dont hate you for what you've done, the failures were my fau-" Misa tried to reason with Light but he grabbed her hand and forced her nails into his skin.

"Stop lying to yourself" Light said pushing down harder. "This...is this what I've done to you?"

"No!" Misa replied as Light's blood dyed her nails scarlet

"You're right..." Light said "I deserve worse" he grabbed Misa's high heeled boot and pressed it onto his chest

"No, thats not what I meant" Misa said, shaking his grip off her leg "It's ok! Everything you've done to me, its fine!"

Light got up and picked up a glass ornament they had in the household "Misa...nothing will ever be fine...not with me..." he said and he tightened his grip on it

"Well, it hurt but still, dont do this to yourself" Misa asked

Light brought the ornament down onto the table and shattered it, his hand still holding it so that the glass shards would rip into him. He gasped and slowly regained his breath as Misa rushed to his side

"Raito-kun stop!" she said "Acknowledging what youve done is enough to make me happy, why can't you be happy with me now?"

"Because I don't deserve to be happy" Light said holding his blood stained hand with his other one "I deserve to suffer, just like you have, just like all the people I sent to their deaths"

"You've suffered enough!" Misa said getting a hold of his hand as well

"Make me suffer more" Light pleaded with her

"But...I love you Light" Misa said, looking into his eyes The words struck a chord in Light's unpure and corrupted heart. She shouldnt love him, she should have hurt him just like he did to her, but for some reason, after this, he felt slightly better about himself, not redeemed yet, but...'Light' not 'Kira' was finally talking again. Getting him out might have been a painful process but right now it was worth it, for her. He dropped to his knees again. "Misa..." he sighed one last time before everything went black and he collapsed completely...

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Whoo! Now was that a stupidly angsty fanfiction or what? But either way, this is all Light is gonna do to himself, my fanfiction forecaster predicts fluff in the upcoming chapters with touches of lemon during a few of them too. Until next time!


	2. Yagami Reborn

A/U: More angst and Light Yagami being an uke. Despite its not yaoi...I think I'll have them do 'stuff' next chapter.

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Chapter 2: Yagami Reborn

Light woke up in bed, it took him a while to remember what had happened. Had it all even happened? He wasnt too sure, he tried to scratch his head but upon lifting his hand up he saw that the hand was all bandaged up and the scars from Misa's nails which he forced into him marked his arm. He tried to get up but he must have hit his chest pretty hard back then but not have noticed in the heat of the moment. The fact that he stood back up and collapsed again probably only worsened the wound.

"It...happened" Light sighed to himself with a smile "Am I...redeemed?"

"RAITO-KUN!" Misa screamed as she ran into the bedroom. That same high pitched squeal that he used to hate to hear and would always turn away and pray she would just leave him alone, now had a totally different meaning. Now he wanted to hear it more than anything else in the world and he welcomed her with whatever strength he had

"Misa...I'm so sorry..." he said as Misa sat down on the bed next to him

"Misa-Misa forgives her Raito-kun!" Misa said, smiling for the fallen god who lay in the bed beside her. She wondered if Light was really sorry, he was one to lie but now, he wasnt smiling with his common arrogant smile, and he wasnt frowning with that frown which said 'another failure unworthy of my attention'. Now his face, and his eyes were completely empty, very similar to L. "This is is a honest as he probably gets" Misa thought

"Why Misa though? Why are you still by my side? After everything I've done...to you..." Light said, still pondering on the age old question

"Because Misa-Misa loves her Raito-Kun! Thats why!" Misa said, brightening up

"Thats...adorable..." Lights voice became more silent, it got slightly harder to breath "How you...talk about yourself...in the third person..." he remembered how stupid he used to find that, Misa referring to herself in the third person, now it changed so much...

Misa lay down on the bed next to Light, realizing he couldnt get up. She just looked at him and thought of how powerless he looked, something which was a first for Light Yagami.

"Raito-kun you look so..." She began, but stopped herself realizing Light would hate her saying that.

"Helpless...Desperate...?" Light groaned, "It's because I am..."

"Is this really Light Yagami talking? That cant be true" Misa thought to herself. But Light Yagami was always like this, it was Kira who wasnt.

"Help me Misa..." Light said, reaching out and placing his hand on her thigh

"Misa-Misa is ready to do whatever it takes to help Raito-kun get better!" she said, taking a careful hold of his hand so she wouldnt hurt him further

"Just...stay with here...with me, will you do that favour for me?" Light asked

"Of course!" Misa replied "I'll stay here until you heal up Raito-kun! Don't worry, your Misa will never leave you"

"My...my...my Misa" Light said as tears formed at his eyes. She was 'his' Misa. How did she even stick with him this long.

Misa edged closer towards him to share the tender moment. She wiped a tear from his eye, since he couldnt and he pulled the rest back in.

"Say...say that again..." Light said

"Say what?" Misa asked him, who thought he placed no value in her calling herself 'his'

"Say that...that you're my...my Misa" Light pleaded

Misa suddenly realized that Light had found new value in her words, the words he ignored for so many years in the past. But finally, her words had meaning for him. She moved closer to him again so that their bodies would touch, she wrapped her arm around his waist.

"I am your Misa, no one else's, and I'll be your Misa forever" she said and leaned in to kiss him. For the first time ever since they first met, when he kissed her once to get her interested, Light actually participated in the kiss as well. And now it felt more true, it wasnt rushed anymore, Light wanted to please her just as much as she wanted to please him.

Light wanted to ask one last question, but he was scared the answer wouldnt be true. After all, when she asked him that he lied to her so many times...

"Is Misa-Misa's Raito-kun happier now?" Misa asked

Light also just realized that she called him 'hers'. Before he would find it insulting, who is she to claim the god of the new world as her possession? But he couldnt take it anymore, he had to belong to someone, other than himself.

"Yes..." Light breathed "Your Raito-kun...is happy" but then he remembered the question which he wanted to ask before. He had to just blurt it out, his heart began to ache.

"Why is he crying then?" Misa asked giving him a playful kiss

"Mi...Misa...I of all people...should be...the last to ask this..." Light began

"Its ok Raito-kun, go ahead" she comforted him

"I...its..." Light didnt know how to go on

"Just say it, I wont say anything bad" Misa said smiling and giving him another kiss

"Do you...do you..." Light said

"Yes?" Misa asked, now overly curious

"Do you love me?" Light asked. Misa thought she'd never see the day Light would ever say that to her. Her heart started racing and despite knowing that multiple times when she asked him if he loved her he had lied, she would reply truthfully, since now, it all seemed more true than it had ever seemed before.

"So much, I love you so much" Misa replied "I can't imagine my life without you, Raito-kun"

"Are you being honest...or are you giving me...a taste of my own medicine...?" the unsure Light replied

"As honest as I'll ever be" Misa said

"Then kiss me again..." Light replied and Misa leaned in once more. This time Light managed to lift his arm and wrap it round her waist. "Tell me...show me...that you...that you love me" Light gasped in between kisses. They kept on kissing until Light had eventually gotten way too tired and needed some more sleep.

"That was...beautiful...like you" Light remarked "On your lips I...tasted sweet wine like never before...you leave me starstruck...what was I missing out on...all this time? I...I need to get some more sleep though...my head is hurting..."

"Light..." Misa sighed, it was like a dream come true. "I'll go get you some water" she said getting up but Light stopped her.

"Wait" he said "Stay and..." he stopped

"It's ok, say it" Misa said

"I want you to hold me...until I sleep" Misa could tell how that confession ripped Light, no, ripped Kira apart. She could see strings snapping inside Light's psychological world, he was coming out with all of this faster than he could handle.

Misa sat next to him and Light leaned his head against her thigh. Misa took a lock of his hair and twirled it between her fingers.

"Has Raito-kun's Misa proven her love?" She asked, already knowing Light's answer

"Yes..." Light said, and once again, everything around him went black, and he drifted off into sleep...


	3. Something New

Chapter 3: Something New

Light woke up once again, feeling slightly better now. He could move around in the bed and he felt like his legs would support his weight, but he felt he should rest some more before he walked.

"Misa?" Light called out wondering where she was.

"My Raito-kun is awake! Yay!" Misa exclaimed as she came into the room.

"How long had I been asleep for?" he asked

"8 hours, you've been doing some sleeping" Misa smiled

"I feel better now" Light said

"Raito-kun wouldnt let a few scars break him down would he?" Misa replied happily

"It was alot more than those scars on my body Misa..." Light sighed

"Oh...yeah" Misa said, realizing what he was talking about "Look, we can just put our past behind us right now...cant we?"

"I thought we already had" Light said, disappointed

"Oh! I never thought you put it behind you, Raito-kun" she replied

"I did my best, I think I managed, I think" Light said "And, dont call me Raito-kun, that name has too many bad memories attatched to it, from you, I prefer just Light"

Light could remember all the times she screamed that name out in fear, he didnt want to associate himself with who he was anymore

"Ok then, Light" Misa said as she climbed into the bed with Light "If you prefer it like this"

Light opened up his arms to welcome her and she rested her head on his chest.

"Ngh" Light grunted as she lay down on the spot where he pressed her boots against

"Oh! Im sorry Light! I forgot about that, oh that was s-" she began but she got interrupted as Light leaned in forward and shut her up with a kiss "...nevermind"

"It's all I can do" Light sighed as he drew back "I wish I could do more for you, but not in this state"

"What are you saying, you've done enough" Misa said, Light turned away his head

"I know now that you love me, or at least I hope" he began

"I do love you Light, didnt you believe me last night?" Misa asked

"I did, but its all too good...to be true. Think about the way I've treated not just you, but everyone...and out of all the people, I don't deserve...someone like you" he said, looking away. He felt Misa's hand on his chin, she turned him back to face her

"Light, I love you, and no one will ever change that" she assured him

"Honestly..." Light continued, he wanted to just let everything out "I'm scared of one thing in this world, losing you"

"You don't need to be scared of something that wont happen" Misa reassured him

"Misa..." Light sighed and pulled her in close to him. He tightened his grip on her as if he clinged onto her for dear life, Misa returned his embrace. Light felt slightly more comfortable.

"Light? Can I try something?" Misa asked him, she had a rather playful smile drawn across her lips

"Uh..." Light said, unsure of her intentions "Why not?"

"Look up for just a sec" Misa said and Light averted his gaze towards the ceiling tilting his head upward. He couldnt see anything unusual or strange onto the ceiling and wondered why Misa had asked him to look up until he felt Misa's lips gently brush onto his neck. Light closed his eyes and enjoyed the sensation for the one second that it lasted. Misa pulled back.

"You don't mind me kissing you on the neck do you, Light?" Misa asked. Usually Light would do that, since he considered it a male's job to kiss the neck, but now he could care less

"I don't mind at all" Light said turning his head up "Do it again"

Misa leaned in and kissed him again, once, twice, then Light let out a soft moan, Misa could feel it against his neck, she felt Light's hand wrap around the back of her head and press her onto him, three times and finally four.

Light sighed with pleasure as Misa pulled away again. He turned to the mirror, 5 black lipstick stains marked his neck. He felt his neck with his hand, the burning hot sensation still lingered lightly on the spots where Misa had kissed him

"You mean the world to me, Misa" Light said as he ran his hand down Misa's face

"You are my world, Light" she replied and Light smiled and leaned in and kissed her again, and again, and again.

Light drew back and stretched abit, before lying back down. Misa was about to lie on him but she remembered that his chest had hurt. She stop but she was still on top of him. Light wrapped his arm around her and put her down onto him

"Light doesnt this hurt you?" she asked

"I'd rather have you rest on me" Light said "I know, I've lied in the past, I know I've probably been the worst boyfriend you've ever had, I let my power blind me..."

"Light stop" Misa said "Aren't you overreacting abit? Besides didnt you say you wanted to forget the past?"

"I'm gonna get this out of me for good, sorry if this is getting repetitive, but I'm going to ask you one last time, and if you lie to me, then I got exactly what I deserved all this time, if you don't...then I'm just never running out of luck apparently" Light said

"Let it all flow out, it's going to be ok" Misa said

"Do you really and honestly love me?" Light asked again, Misa could feel his heart beating faster against his chest where she was laying on. "At this point it's better to live the lie to be honest, but later on the truth will be more painful. Just have some pity for the...for the one who pitied no one else I guess...if I'm even worthy of yours, and tell me the absolute truth now"

Misa got up and climbed on top of him careful not to touch any points where it would hurt.

"Light, I have one question to ask you as well" she said "Do you trust me?"

"I...I do" Light replied

"Then look me in the eyes and tell me that you believe me when I tell you I love you and that you wont doubt 'us' ever again Light" Misa said and Light locked gazes with her.

She saw the broken and helpless look in his eyes, he was crying out for her to help him, but that soon stopped

He saw the look in her eyes, hopeful, loving, tender all the things he had never been and would never deserve, were there in front of him. It was settled, Light finally completely believed her. He got back up, while she was still sitting on his lap. He kissed her.

Once

"For every time I wasnt there"

Twice

"For everytime I did something to you"

Three times

"For every time you forgave me"

Four times

"And for every time you were there to catch me when I fell"

Five times

"I promise I'll be there for you and do everything I should've done and more"

Light looked at her in the eyes

"Now," he asked "Would you believe me if I told you I'd turn the world upside down for you, My Goddess of the New World"

"I do Light!" She exclaimed and without controlling herself she rushed forward to hug Light and they both fell down onto the bed again

"Misa" Light said "Give me everything I don't deserve"

Misa didnt even waste time to reply and instead just kissed Light on the neck again, on the other side now. Light smiled, it was something she'd never done before yet it was like she knew exactly where and how to touch him. He just threw his head back and let Misa carry him through the clouds and into a heaven of bliss...


	4. Selfish Desire

Chapter 4: Selfish Desire

"Ah Misa..." Light sighed. Misa was lying on his lap and he twirled her golden locks in between his fingers. "What would I ever do without you?"

"Light..." she just replied, enjoying the feeling of his fingers in her hair

"Misa, would you do me...another favor?" Light asked

"Of course" Misa replied, suddenly sitting up

"Dress for me Misa" Light said, Misa wasnt sure what he meant

"What do you mean Light?" she asked, wanting clarification

"Wear all that lingerie you advertise, you have a purple corset, with the black lace around it. The matching panties...and the stockings as well. Wear your eyeliner and eyeshadow. Be my supermodel Misa" he said

"Can you give me a sec? I'm not that good at putting makeup on on my own, I have my makeup artist do it for me so I will take a while, and I'd like to have a shower first so I can be all fresh for you, you dont mind, right Light?" she lied

"I dont mind, take your time" Light replied smiling "I love you Misa" he finished and leaned in. Misa leaned in as well, the two kissed a couple of times and Misa went to get herself ready.

Misa got up, found the set Light asked for, and took it to the bathroom with her to change into. Light just sat in bed wondering what she would look like in his head. But Misa knew exactly how to put her makeup on, but she wasnt worried about her face, it was the rest of the rest of her body, marked with scars and bruises that worried her. She didnt want Light to see and feel guilty all over again, they had put the past behind them. She turned the water on and climbed into the shower.

Temptation began to overtake Light, he really wanted to see her, he would just get up and take a peek from the keyhole, as childish as it seemed to him. He creeped up to the door, slowly so that she wouldnt hear him and took a look through the keyhole. His eyes widened.

Misa's back was covered with scars and bruises, so was her face to an extent. Light's bottom lip trembled, he looked down at his own hands. These were the hands that did this to her. She didnt want more time because she didnt know how to put on makeup, she wanted time to hide the scars for him.

Light slowly made his way back to the bed and cried in the pillow so she wouldnt hear him. But when the water stopped running, Misa heard the soft sobs coming from the room. She hastily put the lingerie on and opened the door and opened the door.

"Light?" she asked. Light turned to her, his face was covered in tears, his eyes were red.

"Dont look at me, I've seen what I've done to you" Light said, and buried his face in the pillow

"My cheeks? They're fine, its gonna heal in a few days, cheer up Light" she said, not knowing Light had seen her whole body.

"Its not just your face Misa" Light said, his face stil in the pillow "The bruises are everywhere on your body, I wanted to take a peek, and I saw something completely different" Misa realised Light had broken himself down completely again. She would have to slow down and help him regain himself again.

"Light please, didn't we say we'd put our past behind us?" she asked "I love you"

"Misa, I love you too" Light said, looking at her, removing his face from the pillow "I honestly believe that you love me now, but how can I take love from someone like you? Look at what I've done to you. I knew it was bad but I had no idea"

"Light, it hurts me more to know that I cant be with you, the scars will eventually be replaced by healed skin, you cant be replaced though" Misa said and rushed to the bed by his side

"I...dont touch me, if I hadnt seen you and we ended up doing...whatever we were going to do, I'd just hurt you further" Light said and turned away. He couldnt bear to look at her

"Maybe it would hurt physically" Misa said, "But remember when I rested on your chest and accidentally it was against a point it hurt? You said you'd rather have me on you and ignore the pain. Its like this" she said and she unbuttoned the first button of Light's shirt. She was determined to cheer him up, she was going to give him the night of his life if she had to. Light's hand stopped her.

"Dont..." Light said "I dont want you to see whats under there" but Misa ignored him. She would make him stop feeling guilty about himself. But as she took off Light's shirt she realised her body wasnt the only one which had taken damage.

Light's chest was covered in cuts, not only where he forced her high heels on him, but everywhere. They looked like they were inflicted by a knife, slowly, Misa realised what Light was really doing when he locked himself in his room.

"Light..." she said, completely caught by suprised

"No" Light said "Don't feel bad, I deserved all that. Its the only way I would feel better for what I did to you."

"Light, I just have bruises here and there, you've cut up your entire chest!" she exclaimed

"I...would ask for more...now that I've seen you like this but...I'd...rather do something else" he said

"Does it invovle hurting yourself?" Misa asked

"No, and its rather selfish but...I'd want kiss away what I've done" Light said and looked away again, blushing

Misa turned his head back to face her again. When she made sure she had her attention, she turned and fell onto the bed.

"Then go ahead" she said looking back at Light who began to undo the laces which kept her corset tight. He split the undergarment apart and looked at Misa's body. He brushed his lips on her back and Misa stretched her hands back to caress his hair as he kissed her.

She could remembered every time Light would get annoyed at her, she wished she could just erase those memories, like forfeiting ownership of the Death Note.

"I'm sorry...I'm so sorry" Light breathed. Misa could feel his breath on her back, it felt so warm and comforting.

"Mhm~" Misa sighed, "You're making up for it pretty well, Light"

"You deserve it" Light replied, smiling

"You deserve something too" she said and tried to turn herself over around but Light stopped her

"Not now, Misa" Light said and kissed her "You've done enough for me, let me do something for you now"

"Light you're so obsessed with repaying this debt that you don't even owe me" she said "Promise me you'll stop feeling guilty about yourself after this and smile a little more"

"I..." Light began but Misa put on her pouting face. Light couldnt bring himself to argue with her when she had that look. "...Fine, Misa gets what Misa wants"

"Now, let me give you a little something in return" Misa said, turning over.

She brought her lips up to Light's chest where he had cut himself and kissed him just like he did to her back. After a while, when she had gotten done with 'healing' his wounds she came up for his neck again, knowing how much he enjoyed it. Light closed his eyes and let his hands explore her body, he remembered she was still wearing the corset. How he wished she had taken it off. When his hands came around the back he felt Misa's hand grab his.

"Get rid of it" she said

"Of what?" Light said, not sure if this was an invitation or not

"The corset" she said "I know you want to"

Light was suprised at how easy she read him, but he didnt waste time on wondering how she had managed to see right through him, after all, it wasnt L he was in bed with. Light felt for the side of the corset and when he found it he pulled it off.

"Light, I'm going to give you the best night you've had in years" Misa said deviously as Light removed her corset. "Make love to me Light"

Light smiled knowing what was up ahead for him...  



	5. In Defiance Of God

Chapter 5: In Defiance Of God

(Light's POV)

We've gone deeper into this relationship faster than I can keep track of. We're no longer just in love, we're about to make love. This bit right here, part of me still cant believe all this is happening. Is she under control of someone else's Death Note? Is there a third Kira out there? I lose my chain of thoughts as she catches me by suprise. The sweet taste of her lips makes me forget everything I'm worried about, what was I even worried about in the first place?

I can feel her hands on my chest, pain wears the mask of pleasure, I ignore the aching and enjoy the moment, is she going lower? Her hands reach into my pants, I can feel her 'exploring' me, god this feels amazing. I havent had sex in years, I dont think I'm going to even give her the same satisfaction she's going to give me.

"Light, what have you been keeping away from me down there?" you say. Don't make me blush before we have sex, Misa, I dont even know how to respond. I reach for the her panties and I feel her slightly tighten on me. One hand in my pants the other around my waist. Should I get my hand in there? She has...

Without even realizing it my hands are in her panties and she doesnt flinch or anything, I guess I'm doing good enough. Damn she's wet under there, guess I'm doing better than good. Should I make a bold move? What if I do it too hard...

"Cmon Light, I'm waiting for it" you say. Again, I lose control of my hand and next thing I know I have two of my fingers inside of you. What has she even done to me, I cant even control myself anymore. Its like _I'm_ under the control of someone's Death Note now. Nevermind, I dont even care. I can hear her moan and its just getting me even more turned on. She takes a bite on me, it hurts abit, she clamps down too hard, but its fine, for some reason I enjoy it.

(Misa's POV)

Light's fingers are so slender and warm, in and out, in and out. This is what I was waiting for him to give me for so long, the fruits of my labour finally paid off I. He's into it so much too. It's like he cant even control himself, one moment he's just there the next moment he's inside of me.

I pull back from where I bit him, maybe I pressed abit too much, there's a mark there. I got abit caught up in the heat of the moment I guess. I just realised I'm letting him do all the work for me. My hand is still in his pants but its just there, not moving or anything. I was enjoying myself too much. Light, let me pay you back abit.

"Misa..." you moan as I reach inside your pants. You're just about as hard as I'm wet. For someone who hasnt had sex in ages, I'm suprised he's like this.

Suddenly I feel him remove his fingers from inside of me. He tightens his grip on my panties and pulls them off my body. He gets up and pushes me back, he's on top now. Is this the time? After all these years, is Light going to finally love me?

He's not saying anything, he's just there, is he thinking he might have roughed me up abit? I can't have him suddenly think he's hurt me and get depressed now, not when we're this close. I know what would get him back on track, I know what he wants to hear.

"Yes Light, throw me on the bed and fuck me until I cant feel my legs anymore and until the bedsheets are soaking wet" I say, Light expression totally changes. He's not confused anymore rather he seems like he knows exactly what to do, Any secon-ah, yes, he's inside me now. Light Yagami...

(Light's POV)

I cant even remember the last time words sounded this good. She's got me locked in a trance and I dont want to escape. I'm going to do as she asks me too, I'm going to make her mine. Every thrust she moans more and more, its like music to my ears. I'm drowning in her enchantments, I dont want this to end. The more and more I keep going the closer I know the end is near, stop Light, enjoy the moment.

I know this is going to be my downfall. I've surrendered my Kira side, this love is probably going to make me stray from my plans from the new world, it might even cause me to make an oversight that ends up as my demise, I fear for my own life, I've gone against all the rules I set down as Kira, I'm going against god. I notice that a couple of wounds on my chest have ripped open, dammit I shouldve given myself more time to heal. I can feel the blood trickling down my chest. The bittersweet feeling of pain mixes in with the ecstasy, pain and pleasure. I want to keep going, I want to love her, I want her to love me. Still, I know that my love for her will blind me, thats the reason that as Kira, I vowed to never love a girl, thats why I ignored my feelings for her in the first place. By going this deep into this relationship, by losing myself for her, I'm could very well be digging my own grave. I'll take the risk,_** Its worth it**_.

_Death was set_

_My blood and my sweat_

_mix in harmony_

_Defying god_

_We're making love like fallen angels_

_This is the night of madness I craved for_

"Misa" I managed to breathe out

"Ngh~ Light?" you reply, god Misa, I could sit and hear you moan for the rest of eternity

"Say my name, tell me you want me" I pant in between thrusts

(Misa's POV)

I know I've been the one telling Light that he shouldnt doubt us from now and on but theres a small, an ever so small worry in my mind. I'll probably wake up and this was all just a dream. Light finally loves me. Nevertheless I'll do as he says.

"Light!" I moaned out your name, "Love me Light Yagami, make me yours forever, I'm begging you"

I can barely feel my legs anymore, I didnt even know I could spread them like this before but I cant feel anything, he's got me completely numb. I was kind of joking when I asked him to keep going until I couldnt feel my legs anymore since he was out of practice, but he wasnt joking apparently. And I like it. I **love** it. I **love him**.

"You're so good at this Light" I moan again, I know how much he likes it "Keep going, dont stop" and the more he gets into it the more I enjoy it too.

I can feel we're getting close to the climax, as much as I dont want this to stop, I brace myself for the best part. I can feel him slowing down his pace, but putting more passion into each individual thrust. There's sensual chills running up my spine, I can feel it, any second now..._  
_

"Oh go on Light, make me your goddess of the new world, show me I'm worthy of you" I moan again "I love you Light, I love you, I love you!" I scream in repetition as you rock me back and forth, I mean this more than I ever did right now.

You utter my name one last time and suddenly, my heartbeat accelerates, my entire body goes numb, my grip on you tightens, I dig my nails in your skin. I can feel it, red hot fluid inside me, it feels so godlike. He really is the god of the new world. _My_ god. I throw my head back and scream your name at the top of my lungs. "Light!"

We just sit there for a moment, your warm breath caresses my exposed skin. I can feel you getting out of me. I see the satisfied look on your face, its more than satisfaction though. He's got a slightly perverted look on his face. I suddenly feel one of your fingers inside of me once again, what are you doing?

He takes the finger out, soaked in both of our fluids. I still have no idea what he's going to do. Suddenly, he brushes the same finger on my lips, I dare not say anything. Before I can even begin to wonder what he's doing he leans in and kisses my now tainted lips. There's something so perverse about this, I cant tell if I like it or not, but I'll do as he wishes, for him. As he draws back he leaves a strange taste in my mouth but I completely ignore it.

He falls back down to the bed, exhausted, some wounds open and bleeding. I dont think I've got the energy to get up and bring him a bandage, not after _that. _I fall back next to him and I get comfortable against the pillow of his shoulder. He's so warm, I want him t- nevermind he is holding me now.

"Light..." I sigh, ever so quietly, I dont think I can muster enough voice to say it any louder.

"Misa..." you reply, my name sounds so good when you say it, there's tears down your face. Kira is crying of despair, Light Yagami is crying of joy. "I want to be with you until the end of time, until I'm damned to go to MU, I want you to be by my side forever"

"I love you Light" I say, my heart is fluttering, all these years, all this trying, I thought of giving up but part of me wanted to stick to it, maybe, just maybe there was something else to Light besides the god Kira, turns out, there was a human inside Light, someone who can love, someone who can cry, someone who can feel remorse... "Light you are the only one for me, I can't imagine the world without you"

"The world has no meaning without a god, and this god has no meaning without his goddess" you say

"Oh Light!" I reply, I hold onto you harder, I think I might have squeezed you too much, but it just came out as an impulse. I gently rub my head against your shoulder and you let out a playful little laugh. "What?" I ask

"You're so..." you begin "Cute...and...sexy...at the same time, you're the best of both worlds Misa, you truly_ are_ a goddess, goddess of _our_ new world" you finish and lean in and give me a gentle kiss on my forehead. I want to fall asleep right here, in your arms. Ah, and you're running your fingers through my hair as well, I wish I had some more energy to do the same or kiss you back, but I can barely even move most of my body. When we wake up...

I close my eyes and the only thing I can think about is you, Light Yagami, the light of my world...

* * *

Wooh, ok that was...interesting to write. Most of my other fanfics have sex scenes inside but despite not droning on about what they're actually doing, I thought that just making it what their thoughts are would be something interesting to write. Dont ask about that last part, I have no idea why, but its kinda hot, its weird I know but, I like it. Btw, shoutouts to Razzy for those lines from his english dubbed Madness Of Duke Venomania. I always thought that if the song would go to a DN character it wouldve been Light. Either way, I was writing this scene and the song sparked in my head so I included it.


End file.
